Theatrical monologues are shouted and spat, rolled off the tongue, whispered and gestured.  They require dedication from the audience during the performance, and dissection by the audience thereafter.  Bolstering this onslaught of heady verbiage and up-close emotion, is the fact that no matter what the production quality, from Broadway to off-off Broadway, the feeling that something can go wrong at any time, the live action, the potential for failure to deliver a scene as intended, is intoxicating.  Sustained anticipatory schadenfreude.

Yes, there is a notable difference in price between movie theaters and theater theaters.  If you are a bit crafty, you can snatch lower priced ($20-$40) tickets.  Again, this is putting  more effort into an event, something that goes a long way to develop you as a person.  If you are truly strapped, wait until that next 3-D blockbuster goes to DVD, and voila!  You will have the cash for a ticket to live theater.  At the very least, understand that you spent a pretty penny on this event, and if for that reason alone, work to get the most out of every performance.

No, musicals do not count. Seriously. Not one. Zero.

(Exception: Paul Simon’s under-acclaimed 1998 classic The Capeman)

Sure, there are a plethora of companies that have cashed in on the vintage craze, sucking every Urban kid into their pre-distressed denim vortex.  However, that doesn’t mean that A. it is acceptable to shop there and B. real vintage is dead.

If you are not already a loving, caring grandchild, you now have reason to be.  Grandparent clothing is some of the highest quality, cleanest, free-est vintage clothing you can acquire.  Smelling of nonchalance and decades of country club lunches, these sweaters, belts, and Borsalinos, are a finely aged testament to quality and class.

For those who understand that it takes real effort to assemble a truly unique wardrobe, there are two words for you.  Salvation Army.  Dotting this fair country from west to east, the Salvation Army amasses discards that, with a thorough wash, polish, and alteration, become wardrobe staples.  For the low price of $1 to $10, vintage Ralph Lauren blazers and classic Brooks Brothers ties become part of your aesthetic legacy.

For those of you who do not associate with them, please leave your grandparents’ contact information in the comments section.

Have these four words come to define us? (or) Do we resort to this verbal quartet when striking up conversation because that is how we define ourselves?  In this writer’s humble opinion, it is the latter, with a heavy asterisk.

That paradoxical machine that provides us with what we need to survive (money), while taking away the one thing we need to experience ourselves (time), has become us.  This is very bad.

We must not hang our self worth on the hooks of necessity! We are not tingled by the thought of our professional duties.  We beg of time, the only free and most elusive concept in our lives, to speed itself, to die more quickly! You think you are not of this ilk? Ask yourself the following: Does your excitement for Wednesday parallel your excitement for Friday?

Do we not deserve more from life? Have our souls prostrated to an obviously diaphanous social structure of money over self?

You can fix this.

Place your profession in perspective. If you are working solely to pay your bills, understand what that means! Jobs do not merit emotion.  Save your beautiful, pulsing, rich, swift emotion for you.  You are an entity teaming with health, a body bustling with trillions of neuronic fizzling jolts.  Work hard, yes, but always have one mental foot out the door.  You are not your job. Your job is not you.  You and only you can create and destroy you.

Remain transient! (Work is not life. It is a part of life. How big a part is up to you.)

Needs exist in both positives and negatives. Religious standards, monetary restriction, dietary necessities, or social angst, are a few of the myriad preconditions that may exist when inviting someone to enjoy time together.  It is never acceptable to guess on the comfort of your friend or guest.  A true gentleman always puts his guest before himself and plans around his guest’s needs, even if it means putting his own ego and comfort aside.

This necessity extends to those peers within the group who may identify another member as uncomfortable.  If attention is not brought to their discomfort in a discreet manner, if one chooses not to alleviate their albeit potentially minute social suffering, they are as much at fault for ruining that person’s time as the host.

If everyone cannot afford to eat or drink somewhere, find somewhere else to celebrate.

If the temperature of the room makes them uncomfortable, fix it.  If that does not work, vacate the premises.

If you think this rule does not apply to you, you are most likely infected by the underbelly of capitalism.

And I will never hang out with you.

Writing this blog is one of the most fulfilling undertakings I have conceived in my 23 years on this planet.  From finding a medium to express my views, to advantaging society as a muse for creativity, this blog gave me a reason to reach beyond my usually introverted self and connect with a group of people that listened, commented, and cared about what I was writing.  All of you forced me to reach deep into my bag of thoughts and fish out the most interesting nuggets.  That pressure was the reason why the blog was wildly successful; it also served as its downfall.

After six months of writing four posts every week about a different and, most importantly, interesting topic, I started to run low.  I found that I was pulling on similar concepts of prior posts, and I was arguing with myself more than I was writing.  I refused to let the quality of the topics dip.  It was then that I decided the blog needed a rest.  Funnily enough, I just started receiving over 100 views per day, no small feat for a blog that existed for a mere six months.

As I write this, I am brought back to a very happy place and I plan on moving back in for one day a week.  OlderBrothersAdvice is officially operational again.  I will be posting entries once a week, perhaps twice if the mood strikes.  I know that consistency in blogging is one of the secrets to large numbers, but I have realized that it is about getting the written word out there that really turns me on.  The hit counter is secondary, possibly even tertiary.

I look forward to all of you swinging from my brain branches once again!

Drink in the coming of a new season.

Perseverance mode is such a powerful setting that it can blind even the most aware individuals.  Take, for example, the man trying to win a woman’s love.  In this scenario, a well adjusted man’s perseverance has a short life span, with the all too possible outcome of quickly turning from cute to serious to restraining order.  Or take the entrepreneur.  To him, his business is a flawless money making enterprise, yet the market refuses to buy into his vision.  Draining himself of his energies and cash, he is left with an idea and nothing more.

The successful employment of perseverance boils down to one finite principle: objectivity.  We must successfully nurse perseverance, advantaging the emotion and fire that it provides, all while keeping an outsider’s perspective on our progress, or lack thereof.

Perseverance is no different than a performance enhancing drug.  It can even the field or help crush the competition.  Take too much of it and your (mental) testicles will shrink to the size of raisins, leaving you defeated and (mentally) shrunken.

A fashionable gentleman is aware of and able to own a trend.  He will look fitting and impressive in his ensemble, embodying the absolute nature of say, a suit and tie.  He will own his look.  A fashionable gentleman is sartorially solid.  He is comfortable in wearing clothing as it comes, as it is intended to be worn, few frills or strays from symmetry and beauty.

A stylish gentleman possesses a critical eye.  In contrast to fashionable man, a stylish man will construct his outfits from a loose canon of clothing, usually acquired through more organic avenues.  He may exist at the center of a trend or miss it altogether.  Most importantly, his attention lies in personal detail.  Through a brooch, a flipped cuff, or an ornately knotted scarf, style is achieved through detail.  Personal detail.  It is the underlying umph of an outfit that can exist left of center.

However varied these approaches may be, they are not mutually exclusive. When married, fashionable and stylish breed a wonder baby of personality and awareness.  Whichever camp you deposit yourself in, keep expanding your sartorial horizons.  Draw from personal expression while respecting the eye of the designer.

In this futuristic time we call the present, when entering a venue which prompts fancy footwork, style and class are usually checked along with the coats.  Hips are thrust, asses are grabbed, and the proverbial bed is unmade on the dance floor.  As close to a public sex fantasy as this may be, it is sure to drive a classy girl far (far) away, especially a stranger you met at the bar.  Have fun with your dancing.  Girls are attracted to a guy who plays with the music rather than humps it.

Stay confident and classy while having your fun, even in the gyrating, sexed up jungle that is the dance floor.  And if you are bent on snagging a lady, your chances will greatly improve if you do not leave the imprint of your fingers on their bodacious behind and a rug burn on their face.   That’s an OBA guarantee.

This conscious quelling of verbal panache has led many of us to talk small and only small.  We forget, whether it be on a date, a round of golf, or over a beer, that there are complex, titillating subjects waiting to be digested.  We have become satiated, our minds have grown a penchant for regaling each other about the absolute spot-on color of the menus! Giggle giggle…

Small talk is no talk.  It is necessary but, if anyone can do it, what is being seen, what is being shown?  Dive into a topic that leads somewhere.  Force yourself and your company into an intellectual meeting of the minds. Healthy, deep conversation does not mean a debate yet, fear not the line of offense! Furthermore, force yourself to pause for that perfect word, the word that you last saw on the SATs you so assiduously, so scrupulously studied for.

Remember, gossip is far lower than small talk and has no place in conversation.  It is a cavernous mess of insecurities and negativity that should never be breached.